Change

A small word which communicates such a lot, both emotionally and practically. 

I decided before the end of last year that 2012 was going to be a different year. Things were going to change. I opened myself up to it, to the idea that keeping things on the same, steady, even keel that they've been on for a while now might not be the only way. That by allowing change into our lives I might find a new path, perhaps even a better way. 

Grandpa dying before Christmas felt less like an ending than a beginning. It felt as if the movement which I had deliberately invited into my life for the new year was already beginning. The shifting of boundaries and static elements in my life was appearing in front of me.

I proactively have sought out some changes. Applying for new jobs, courses and volunteer positions has instantly enabled me to change my views on what is going to be possible careerwise in the future. I have allowed the possibility of romantic love back into my heart. Almost immediately people have come forwards in different areas of my life which has already changed it for the better.

I feel hopeful, fresh, new, almost reborn. When I see the buds of spring, the daffodils and crocii which are out unseasonably early, I feel that they are illustrating the promise I'm anticipating for my/our future. This might sound like some hippydippy shit, but it is changing my view of the past, present and future for me and my family. 

It feels good.

Sometimes a change is as good as a rest. Allegedly.