Guest Post - When Death Is So Tempting

When Death Is So Tempting.

Too many people in this world feel like the snow is talking to them; they listen to it, and, death is the result.  As a homeless girl trespasses through the frozen forest “I’m right behind you” whispered a voice heavy with age.  The icicles in the haunted wood shattered like glass as the creeping trees reached out with bone white fingers.  Her hair was brown with a hint of white from the melting snow, in every snowstorm there is only pain.  The deep snow on the worn out grass seemed like a welcoming duvet beside a glowing fire.  The snowflakes felt almost warm on her flaky skin.  “Lie down” the voice whispered.  Her heart told her to keep going, but her head disagreed.  She finally fell and the night whispered “Don’t listen to your head”. Now only friendship could save her.  Somewhere, in the blistering town, one girl named Lucy, with a life of secrets, walked into the deadly wood.

As Lucy ventured deeper and deeper into the wood, her eyes began to water.  She wept “Where am I?”  Suddenly, in the corner of her eye she could just see the head of a blank body.  “Help me” the body whispered.  “What is your name?” Lucy asked as she shivered.  “I have no name, I am homeless” Lucy helped this stranger up, and warmed her in her coat.  But suddenly the wind blew and the snowflakes began to fall again.  They both fell deep into the blanket of snow, and there they lay, for hundreds of years to come.  Their graves were accompanied by ice blocks and every summer, when the ice melted, their spirits were released.  Still to this day, they roam the forest floor, hoping for somebody help them find peace.

                                                                                                       

Reconstruction

I've neglected my blog lately. Real Life has jumped in with all sorts of unwelcome events and made it very difficult to make my mind work in any focused direction. 

There has been a tragic and sudden death, an emotionally illiterate (now ex) boyfriend, a fruitless job search and a debilitating illness which won't go away.

However, I've decided that I can't keep wallowing. It is time to get back up and get on. Time to reconstruct my life and head in a direction of my choosing, rather than letting other people make the choices for me. For too long I have reacted to other people's needs, and not considered that the best way to make others happy is to make yourself happy too. 

Spring is springing. I have daffodils in my kitchen, washing hanging on the line, chooks laying and windows open. It is March 2012. If the Mayans were correct, I may only have a few months left to do everything I want to do with my life. If they were wrong, I can't regret making the most out of this year. 

So I'm lifting my chin, taking my happy pills, getting some earlier nights and refusing to believe that this is all there is out there for me.

Wish me luck chaps - and if you hear of a fabulous job you think I'd be great for, tell me please!

Remembering Beloved.......

I haven't written anything for a while. It's been Christmas, and New Year and holidays and busy, but also there has been sadness. Grandpa, the most complex person in my family, died suddenly on the 18th of December. He was 93. He had had a chest infection, but he was not ill, or very weak, and so it was a shock to us when during the afternoon, he simply coughed and died.

It was a quiet ending, full of roast beef and whisky and contentment. The last six months without Grandma had been very peaceful for him. He read books for the first time in his life, became much gentler, and finally, on the morning of the day he died told Pa that he loved him.

How wonderful.

What a fantastic ending. If you have to go, what a kindly way to be taken.

We miss him. Particularly because he had begun to be such a lovely man again. Lucky us to have had that time.

Sad to see you go Grandpa. Sweet dreams.